Which is Which

It's a bluff if I'll say I know where I'm heading. Confusion is on my mind right now. I don't have a clue or anything that will let me decide on what road I will be taking. I need a hint, I don't need miracles because surely there is no such thing as that. You are the one making your destiny. It is not picking a one hundred bill in the road and take it with you. It's you!.. It's your perogative and it should be. Discerning is pretty hard if you are not really sure on what you are really looking for. Sigh* I wish I have a power to know what will happen in the future. So many if's question.
Recently, I have been thinking on what I really want in life. Everything is so dim. Yes, I admit, I'm afraid of how things would end up that's why I refuse to take the road that I really wanted to go. Or is it just an effect of all the things I went through in the past that made me think like this? I'm really confused. It makes me feel sober.

You might be wondering why, but it goes like this...

First and foremost, I am really excited and a little anxious of the idea of going back to school. Who wants not to study anyway? Maybe, those people who don't think of what might happen to them in the future if they will not have themselves educate with small and big things. I don't want to be rude but I know some of them who regret what had happened to them because they are too lazy to do the things that they must have done in the past, like going to school. The could have been's. But I'm not that type you know, I've been struggling all my life to be successful in whatever field I'm in. I'm just a little confused on what course I will be taking up, if I'll finish my Business Administration or finish my Computer Engineering course. Hahayz..

There are a lot of reasons why I'm kinda afraid of this whole idea. Factors are, by this second semester, surely my classmates are younger than me, if ever there is someone in the class who is older or just in my age, then I would be the happiest of all. LOL. Exaggerate. LOL. Second, my very expensive tuition since I will go back to USC-Main Campus. We could not deny the fact that even if it is a sectarian one, it is still very expensive. Why is it that most catholic or schools run by a priest or nun always have the very high tuition fees? I wonder why. Well, its not the main issue here. And as far as I'm concern, I'm two steps ahead from those students. I have already an experience when it comes to life, work and etc. I can say that I am fully equipped.

Anyhow, I would not be dealing with those kind of factor I believed because I have this thought in my mind that if I really want to have my diploma then I should not be afraid of anything that will come along my way. I know it would be very difficult for me because I will be a working student at the same time. But I'm so determine to do this. I know I can make it. If others can do it why can't I? There will be no turning back. No matter what the outcome will be. Surely, I will cross the bridge once I get there. :)